The breakup letter
After 20 years I felt the urge of a breakup, ending what had become a toxic relationship. Here’s the letter that put an end to it.
I remember the first time I met you. You were confident and charming but at the same time innocent and naive, easygoing and down-to-earth, perhaps a bit immature, but so promising.
Our first years together felt like a breeze. I was liberated. You welcomed me to your world and I immediately fell head over heels for you. I couldn’t wait to spend time with you after school. All the fun we had together, the new experiences, the excitement, it was all so captivating at that time.
With my friends I would just ramble on obsessively about you. We were both so young back then. It was magical: the long chats, the silly games, and most importantly how you opened my mind. You helped me see the world with new eyes and from new perspectives, always guiding, never patronizing me. The connection we shared was unique and special.
Then, something changed.
I can not tell how or when exactly it happened, but you slowly slipped away from me. I started feeling you distant, disconnected. I wasn’t that special for you anymore, just another of your contacts. However, I didn’t give in, I fought for you. I tried to keep up with you, but no matter how hard I tried I was never up-to-date with your latest trends.
You evolved but the relationship took a big turn for the worse. The conversation got lame and suddenly all you could talk about was kittens and puppies. Then the hatred. It was either us or them and things were only black or white. I never got that.
Lately, the relationship has turned toxic. You get jealous and demand constant attention and if I take some time for myself I get warnings from you. You tell me where to go, show me what to wear, eat and buy, and the more I tell you about myself the more I fear that sooner or later you are going to use it against me.
Who tells me that right now you are not sharing our things with people I don’t even know? I don’t feel I can trust you anymore. You claim you do all of this for my own sake, to make my life easier and more comfortable, but I have started feeling anxious about it.
Lastly, I have recently come to realise that I am changing too. And whether I am changing with you or because of you is not the point. I don’t like the person I have become when I am with you.
I can’t do this anymore.
I am sorry Internet, I still love you but without trust and a real connection, this can no longer work.
It hurts but I truly believe this is what’s best for both of us.
Love always,
Lorenzo
Self-recflection
As anticipated in my last post, with this breakup letter I tried to provide an overall picture of my long term relationship with Internet and technology in general. From the casualness and excitement of the first years to the unsettling turmoil embedded in the era of algorithms and datafication, so much has changed over the last 20+ years.
Whereas the potential of the digital world has considerably increased, the shadow of inequality is cast upon us. We can distinguish two clear-cut slants on the matter: techno-optimists and techno-pessimists (here‘s a brief video on the difference between the two). Although I believe technology constitutes a most valuable asset for humanity, I am aware of its contradictions and how crucial it is to become educated internet users in a highly digitalized world.
In my future posts I will explore, with a critical eye, some of the latest trends in AI, data and development. As I unveil some of the web’s dark secrets I hope that this blog will work as fertile ground for some interesting debate over the role technologies play in our lives.
Share your thoughts
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What is your relationship with technologies?
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Do you consider yourself a techno-optimist or a techno-pessimist?
